John's home! Woo hoo! There's nothing like growing closer to a spouse because of being separated from one another. It's so nice to have him home.
We've been reading Junie B. Jones books. They're children's books and are hilarious! I had a laugh attack into the first few pages of the first book of hers we read. The kids didn't quite know what was going on - besides Ethan who had witnessed such an ordeal before.
We're getting our garden going! I'm so excited. I'm a convert to the "SFG" (Square Foot Garden) idea and I think it's going to be great. We're going to plant beets, collard, kale, spinach, lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, string beans, sweet peas, and pumpkins. Sounds like a leap of faith considering this will be my first real garden ever! But, the SFG makes it so simple and almost fool proof - I can't wait to see the results.
I slept good last night but listen to the details of the night before....I got up twice to take tylenol (ongoing toothache), once to go to the bathroom, once to blow my nose, once to cedric crying for his binkey at the end of my bed, I placed millie's binkey back in her mouth about 5 times, I nudged John about 5 or more times to stop snoring, he twitched in his sleep for about 30 minutes, and I fed Millie once. I was awake from around 3am until after 6am.
Those kind of nights make me insane...I mean really insane! I don't even know why I ever layed down. But, I survived and I'm sure glad not every night is like that. Sometimes Millie really gets going with dropping the binkey out of her mouth and crying for it, wow.
I need to start posting more photos and I still need to re-do my blogs look...it'll get done - one day!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Hogi Yogi
The other day Tyra said, "Mommy, can we do Hogi Yogi?" It took me a minute to get what she was trying to ask. She meant yoga! I couldn't stop laughing.
John called two days ago and let me know that he was going to be coming home 3 days early! (They finished their work early.) He was supposed to come in today around noon but I heard from my mom last night that they missed their plane (airports fault) and will have to wait one more whole day since there's only one plane that flies from Brazil to Atlanta per day.
What a bummer! We were so excited to have him back home. I felt so relieved that all went well there and that he had been safe. Now he's in a bigger, busier city within Brazil, one that he's not familiar with.
Just come home safely!!!
PS I went to an enrichment activity Shanda invited me to where the "Green Smoothie Girl" demonstrated making her green smoothies and not only fed us many other samples but a fun amount of information as well. I'll post a blog with all the info. I learned from that at a later time.
John called two days ago and let me know that he was going to be coming home 3 days early! (They finished their work early.) He was supposed to come in today around noon but I heard from my mom last night that they missed their plane (airports fault) and will have to wait one more whole day since there's only one plane that flies from Brazil to Atlanta per day.
What a bummer! We were so excited to have him back home. I felt so relieved that all went well there and that he had been safe. Now he's in a bigger, busier city within Brazil, one that he's not familiar with.
Just come home safely!!!
PS I went to an enrichment activity Shanda invited me to where the "Green Smoothie Girl" demonstrated making her green smoothies and not only fed us many other samples but a fun amount of information as well. I'll post a blog with all the info. I learned from that at a later time.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
John's Gone
John left to Brazil today and I'm so sad! I'm bothered because I don't know if my uneasy feelings are simply from being overly worried or if the feelings mean something will happen. I haven't wanted him to leave and now, already, I just want him home. I love having him around so much.
But, we've got plans that will keep us busy - I just hope his plane flies safely to and from Brazil and that he'll be safe in Brazil...it's not a very safe country to be in.
(John's in Brazil with my dad to help with the windows for the new temple.)
sigh....
But, we've got plans that will keep us busy - I just hope his plane flies safely to and from Brazil and that he'll be safe in Brazil...it's not a very safe country to be in.
(John's in Brazil with my dad to help with the windows for the new temple.)
sigh....
Friday, March 14, 2008
Dentist Appointment Today
I had a dentist appointment today. I haven't been in since I was 7 months pregnant with Camilla. Does anyone remember that?!?!
Two interesting things happened that day...no three (one I didn't know about until today). 1. When the dentist gave me the shot in my lower right nerve she made a "direct hit" to the nerve which instantly numbed my lower right side from the jaw to the lip but it hurt terribly bad! It felt like the ending point (under my right lip) exploded. I naturally went to grab that area and the nurses quick reflexes grabbed my hand and pulled it down. (It's embarrassing to think of what a problem I was for the dentist and assistant that day.)
What happened was just that - my nerves were damaged it took 7 months for the nerves under my lip to stop tingling and feeling numb! That IS how long it takes for nerves to heal.
Then, because she was working on my wisdom tooth she was lodging that foam block so far back in my mouth to open it as wide as possible. Now, I might add here, that sometimes when I yawn my jaw can stick open feeling like it's going to lock open, so I always quickly end the yawn and all is okay. Well, in the dentist chair that day, such wasn't the situation. She pulled the wedge out and you can only guess what happened. Just imagine me, sitting in the dentists chair with my mouth completely open without being able to close it. Just pretend for a minute...it's horrible!
The nurse tried to massage my jaw hoping that if it would relax it'd loosen up and go back. But it definitely didn't work. It took all the self control I could muster up not to go into a panic! Due to the discomfort of the situation I didn't notice the witness I had next to me. I suddenly hear someone next to me say, "That doesn't look comfortable." I simply (try) to say,"Ig ignt" and once again control the panic that is about to take over my being.
Fortunately my dentists office is in a medical building and someone went and grabbed some other doctor in the building who came in and gently grabbed my jaw with both hands, rocked it back, then forward to the point where my bottom teeth were in front of my front teeth and then, in the same swift motion, rocked it into its right place. I could have kissed him! I was so relieved!
Ever since then I've gained a new fear. Having my jaw lock open. What would I do if John is gone and I'm home alone with the kids and my jaw locked open? Will the kids understand the malformed words coming from my open mouth? I'd be quite the site to see (and remember) if I tried to go over to a neighbors house. Calling someone is out of the question. Do I drive myself, mouth wide open, swallowing near impossible, speaking unrecognizable, to an Instacare? Think about it (and Em stop laughing! - this is serious! :) )
Anyway, point being, I went to the dentist today and all went well. He let me move my jaw every few minutes throughout the hour and a half procedure. He let me keep my mouth open to where it was comfortable to me - even though it was more inconvenient to him. He had to shorten the drill bit so he could get it where he needed it. And he went easy on the shot - even though, once again it went directly to a main nerve - this time one that led to my tongue but right when I naturally reacted to it and he knew it happened again he didn't put in the rest of the numbing solution, which would've caused more damage, he drew the needle out. My tongue and inner gum area were already numb and didn't need anymore solution.
It was nice of them to be so kind. They all remember me in that office. I'd remember myself too if I worked there. A young little mother, 7 months pregnant, sitting in the dentist chair with her mouth stuck open. Yeah, that makes an easy memorable moment.
Oh, the other thing I found out happened that day was that the main dentist (the one who worked on me today) and the other dentist (who worked on me that dreadful day) had quite the argument and he actually hurt her feelings because she didn't want to work on someone who was pregnant and he didn't think it would be a problem.
I don't think she'll be working on a pregnant woman again!
Two interesting things happened that day...no three (one I didn't know about until today). 1. When the dentist gave me the shot in my lower right nerve she made a "direct hit" to the nerve which instantly numbed my lower right side from the jaw to the lip but it hurt terribly bad! It felt like the ending point (under my right lip) exploded. I naturally went to grab that area and the nurses quick reflexes grabbed my hand and pulled it down. (It's embarrassing to think of what a problem I was for the dentist and assistant that day.)
What happened was just that - my nerves were damaged it took 7 months for the nerves under my lip to stop tingling and feeling numb! That IS how long it takes for nerves to heal.
Then, because she was working on my wisdom tooth she was lodging that foam block so far back in my mouth to open it as wide as possible. Now, I might add here, that sometimes when I yawn my jaw can stick open feeling like it's going to lock open, so I always quickly end the yawn and all is okay. Well, in the dentist chair that day, such wasn't the situation. She pulled the wedge out and you can only guess what happened. Just imagine me, sitting in the dentists chair with my mouth completely open without being able to close it. Just pretend for a minute...it's horrible!
The nurse tried to massage my jaw hoping that if it would relax it'd loosen up and go back. But it definitely didn't work. It took all the self control I could muster up not to go into a panic! Due to the discomfort of the situation I didn't notice the witness I had next to me. I suddenly hear someone next to me say, "That doesn't look comfortable." I simply (try) to say,"Ig ignt" and once again control the panic that is about to take over my being.
Fortunately my dentists office is in a medical building and someone went and grabbed some other doctor in the building who came in and gently grabbed my jaw with both hands, rocked it back, then forward to the point where my bottom teeth were in front of my front teeth and then, in the same swift motion, rocked it into its right place. I could have kissed him! I was so relieved!
Ever since then I've gained a new fear. Having my jaw lock open. What would I do if John is gone and I'm home alone with the kids and my jaw locked open? Will the kids understand the malformed words coming from my open mouth? I'd be quite the site to see (and remember) if I tried to go over to a neighbors house. Calling someone is out of the question. Do I drive myself, mouth wide open, swallowing near impossible, speaking unrecognizable, to an Instacare? Think about it (and Em stop laughing! - this is serious! :) )
Anyway, point being, I went to the dentist today and all went well. He let me move my jaw every few minutes throughout the hour and a half procedure. He let me keep my mouth open to where it was comfortable to me - even though it was more inconvenient to him. He had to shorten the drill bit so he could get it where he needed it. And he went easy on the shot - even though, once again it went directly to a main nerve - this time one that led to my tongue but right when I naturally reacted to it and he knew it happened again he didn't put in the rest of the numbing solution, which would've caused more damage, he drew the needle out. My tongue and inner gum area were already numb and didn't need anymore solution.
It was nice of them to be so kind. They all remember me in that office. I'd remember myself too if I worked there. A young little mother, 7 months pregnant, sitting in the dentist chair with her mouth stuck open. Yeah, that makes an easy memorable moment.
Oh, the other thing I found out happened that day was that the main dentist (the one who worked on me today) and the other dentist (who worked on me that dreadful day) had quite the argument and he actually hurt her feelings because she didn't want to work on someone who was pregnant and he didn't think it would be a problem.
I don't think she'll be working on a pregnant woman again!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Good News!
This will be my blog's "good news minute".
1. I slept, pretty much without waking up, all the way until 5am this morning!
I normally wake up 5-10 times per night (for no reason at all) and often have a hard time going back to sleep so this is really good news for me. I can always tell if I've actually slept during the night (about once every 4-6 months) because I have energy during the day at don't hit my "zombie" time at noon where I have to lie down due to my absence of thinking abilities or emotional stability. :)
I've been sleeping better lately - which is so nice! (Keepin' it real) - My depression is pretty much completely gone thanks to St Johns Wort and a variety of other things. It feels so good to be alive again!
2. I purchased coconut oil
It smells wonderful and I can't wait to use it in place of all the other "bad" oils.
1. I slept, pretty much without waking up, all the way until 5am this morning!
I normally wake up 5-10 times per night (for no reason at all) and often have a hard time going back to sleep so this is really good news for me. I can always tell if I've actually slept during the night (about once every 4-6 months) because I have energy during the day at don't hit my "zombie" time at noon where I have to lie down due to my absence of thinking abilities or emotional stability. :)
I've been sleeping better lately - which is so nice! (Keepin' it real) - My depression is pretty much completely gone thanks to St Johns Wort and a variety of other things. It feels so good to be alive again!
2. I purchased coconut oil
It smells wonderful and I can't wait to use it in place of all the other "bad" oils.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Five great things!
There are five fabulous things I've incorporated into my life that I want to scream out and share with all people...so, instead of screaming, I'm sharing it through my blog. The five things are:
1. Greensmoothiegirl.com (as I mentioned in my last entry)
We've been making these green smoothie shakes every morning. Tyra asks for seconds. They're delicious and are a good first step to providing our bodies with the nutrients we need to stay wonderfully healthy and alive.
The site doesn't just talk about green smoothies but it explains why we should change the way we eat and it helps us know how to do it as well. And it all sounds (and is) so delicious! All of the info. provided is from a woman named Robyn (who lives in Pleasant Grove) and the research she's been doing for 15 years! She has a great 12 step program!
Oooh, and check out this info. about coconut oil from her site - http://www.greensmoothiegirl.com/coconut-oil-health-benefits.html
2. Square Foot Gardening
I never thought I'd be much of a gardener. It just wasn't "my thing" or I simply don't have a "green thumb". But this "SFG" thing - I can do! And so can anyone! I can't wait to have a garden this year and to have the kids pick our own fresh fruits, veggies, and greens ( for our green drinks). I'm letting the kids have a garden of their own and I can tell that this is going to be a blast! Here's a link to "SFG". You can buy a used book from the used books on the Barnes and Noble site for $5.88 (that includes shipping).
http://www.squarefootgardening.com/
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/used/titleresults.asp?PEAN=&PRC=ALL&TTL=square+foot+gardening&CNT=
3. Kids Are Worth It!
This is a book I've been reading and I know that Heavenly Father lead me to its discovery. I borrowed it from a lady in the ward and almost gave it back several times because I simply wasn't getting to it but I finally picked it up and have been growing bit by bit as I read it.
It speaks of what kind of a family we may have come from (Brickwall, Jellyfish, or Backbone) and it helps us to be a "Backbone" family which is the ideal way to be. I love it and I can't say enough about it. If you're a flawless parent and your family runs perfectly, by all means, this book isn't for you but it's great for anyone else. ;) I figure that in order to fully comprehend and incorporate it's teachings into my life I'll need to read it once for every year I was raised in my extremely "brickwall" family... so I should end up reading this book 19 times.
If any of you ever read this book I'd like to know what kind of a family you came from and what changes you had to make to become better balanced. It's funny how the author says that a brickwall person and a jellyfish person attract one another...that's defninitley true in mine and John's relationship. But, I've realized how nice it is to have it that way - once we learn to work together!
4. America in Danger
This is another book I'd like to read. I have read excerpts from it and have read an article/interview from its LDS author... Sometimes I think we need a kick in the rear end to get us to "get our houses in order" like the leaders of the church have been telling us for years and years. The excerpts I read along with the article/interview did just that for me. Now I can't wait to read the full version. And I'm more than eager to get our food storage and supply completed!
5. Getting out of Debt
This year John and I have been making our plans on how to get out of debt and are about to have our year plan laid out. It's exciting to see the plans of debt elimination being laid out! Dave Ramsey is the "voice of financial wisdom" for many people and although I haven't thoroughly looked or read through his material (pat on the back for those of you who have) I felt even more motivated after reading his 7 steps. A couple of my friends and some family members have become his fans maybe you'll become a fan as well!
http://www.daveramsey.com/
Good day to all!
1. Greensmoothiegirl.com (as I mentioned in my last entry)
We've been making these green smoothie shakes every morning. Tyra asks for seconds. They're delicious and are a good first step to providing our bodies with the nutrients we need to stay wonderfully healthy and alive.
The site doesn't just talk about green smoothies but it explains why we should change the way we eat and it helps us know how to do it as well. And it all sounds (and is) so delicious! All of the info. provided is from a woman named Robyn (who lives in Pleasant Grove) and the research she's been doing for 15 years! She has a great 12 step program!
Oooh, and check out this info. about coconut oil from her site - http://www.greensmoothiegirl.com/coconut-oil-health-benefits.html
2. Square Foot Gardening
I never thought I'd be much of a gardener. It just wasn't "my thing" or I simply don't have a "green thumb". But this "SFG" thing - I can do! And so can anyone! I can't wait to have a garden this year and to have the kids pick our own fresh fruits, veggies, and greens ( for our green drinks). I'm letting the kids have a garden of their own and I can tell that this is going to be a blast! Here's a link to "SFG". You can buy a used book from the used books on the Barnes and Noble site for $5.88 (that includes shipping).
http://www.squarefootgardening.com/
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/used/titleresults.asp?PEAN=&PRC=ALL&TTL=square+foot+gardening&CNT=
3. Kids Are Worth It!
This is a book I've been reading and I know that Heavenly Father lead me to its discovery. I borrowed it from a lady in the ward and almost gave it back several times because I simply wasn't getting to it but I finally picked it up and have been growing bit by bit as I read it.
It speaks of what kind of a family we may have come from (Brickwall, Jellyfish, or Backbone) and it helps us to be a "Backbone" family which is the ideal way to be. I love it and I can't say enough about it. If you're a flawless parent and your family runs perfectly, by all means, this book isn't for you but it's great for anyone else. ;) I figure that in order to fully comprehend and incorporate it's teachings into my life I'll need to read it once for every year I was raised in my extremely "brickwall" family... so I should end up reading this book 19 times.
If any of you ever read this book I'd like to know what kind of a family you came from and what changes you had to make to become better balanced. It's funny how the author says that a brickwall person and a jellyfish person attract one another...that's defninitley true in mine and John's relationship. But, I've realized how nice it is to have it that way - once we learn to work together!
4. America in Danger
This is another book I'd like to read. I have read excerpts from it and have read an article/interview from its LDS author... Sometimes I think we need a kick in the rear end to get us to "get our houses in order" like the leaders of the church have been telling us for years and years. The excerpts I read along with the article/interview did just that for me. Now I can't wait to read the full version. And I'm more than eager to get our food storage and supply completed!
5. Getting out of Debt
This year John and I have been making our plans on how to get out of debt and are about to have our year plan laid out. It's exciting to see the plans of debt elimination being laid out! Dave Ramsey is the "voice of financial wisdom" for many people and although I haven't thoroughly looked or read through his material (pat on the back for those of you who have) I felt even more motivated after reading his 7 steps. A couple of my friends and some family members have become his fans maybe you'll become a fan as well!
http://www.daveramsey.com/
Good day to all!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Clarifying my "thought"
Just to explain something...the point of the "profound" thought I had that, I felt, came from the spirit wasn't to have cops start paying good drivers $50 (although that is a great idea!) but it was the idea of rewarding good behavior by recognizing it and praising it and applying that "cop thought" to parenting. :)
Oh, and "keepin' it real", I'll open up to something not to get a pity party but in hopes that it may help someone else. I've been fighting depression...(I tend to deal with it around this time of the year) but I've run across a book titled, "The Mood Cure" that has really helped me understand a lot of things with how our bodies work and what nutrients and minerals our brains and bodies need in order to be well balanced...here's a small basic list:
1. Sleep (ha, ha, insomnia is something I've been struggling with for 6 years)
-Drink St Johns wort tea before going to bed
- Darken the house as the night begins (darkness produces melatonin which puts your body to sleep)
-Don't eat after 7pm - have a light snack if you need it
2. Omega 6's - can be taken by taking fish oil pills or integrate flax oil into you diet
3. Sun - no way around it we need sun
4. Exercise - no way around this one either
5. Cut out most sugars or addictive foods like chocolate...salsa is a good substitute to get the boost our bodies are craving
6. 5 HTP is great temporary intake to help your body naturally kick start your seratonin levels (if your body handles it well)
7. Eat health(ier)....greensmoothiegirl.com - I'm telling ya it's the way to go! (It's interesting that the mood cure coincides so well with what the "green smoothie girl" teaches).
Just keepin' it real :)
Oh, and "keepin' it real", I'll open up to something not to get a pity party but in hopes that it may help someone else. I've been fighting depression...(I tend to deal with it around this time of the year) but I've run across a book titled, "The Mood Cure" that has really helped me understand a lot of things with how our bodies work and what nutrients and minerals our brains and bodies need in order to be well balanced...here's a small basic list:
1. Sleep (ha, ha, insomnia is something I've been struggling with for 6 years)
-Drink St Johns wort tea before going to bed
- Darken the house as the night begins (darkness produces melatonin which puts your body to sleep)
-Don't eat after 7pm - have a light snack if you need it
2. Omega 6's - can be taken by taking fish oil pills or integrate flax oil into you diet
3. Sun - no way around it we need sun
4. Exercise - no way around this one either
5. Cut out most sugars or addictive foods like chocolate...salsa is a good substitute to get the boost our bodies are craving
6. 5 HTP is great temporary intake to help your body naturally kick start your seratonin levels (if your body handles it well)
7. Eat health(ier)....greensmoothiegirl.com - I'm telling ya it's the way to go! (It's interesting that the mood cure coincides so well with what the "green smoothie girl" teaches).
Just keepin' it real :)
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Under construction and...some thoughts
Either I've lost my sense of taste or this site is "under construction"...you decide. :) No, John has figured out how to work with the html code for this blog so now I get to create my blogs look - however I want it! John was playing with the options and has left me with how it is now...I still need to decide how I want it.
I had a thought the other day as I was driving. I'm pretty sure the spirit led me to its discovery. (It's a simple thought, really, but it was profound to me). I worried for a minute that a cop might have been around because I realized I was driving faster than I should have been. So, I slowed down. Then I thought, what if cops pulled people over because they had been watched or followed and found to be an excellent driver? And instead of handing over a ticket showing some outrageous balance you suddenly owed he handed you a check for $50!
Seriously, let's think about this. People would drive more politely and courteously, obeying the rules because they'd like to be noticed for being a good driver. I'd like to be! I'd try harder, knowing that I may be rewarded for my "good behavior".
This thought led me to something I've been thinking about doing. It stems from a book titled, "Positive Parenting" written by a Dr. Latham. Along with giving great wisdom and advice he also helps us by giving us even further assistance through assignments. (You can view his assignments by going to www.amiutah.org, click on Dr. Latham's lessons and view his lessons from there).
Assignment #1: Give positive attention to your family when they are doing things that are right. A soft pat on the back, a hug, a high five, or a "Way to go!" will nearly always assure the behavior will be repeated. For one hour, when most of your family is home, give yourself a mark for each positive interaction you have. Try to do it for each member of the family, and keep track of the data. Record any interesting experiences you may have.
Here's more: The second part of the assignment is to LEARN TO IGNORE AGE-TYPICAL, "JUNK" BEHAVIORS! Dr. Latham feels that about 95% of the things kids do that drive their parents crazy should not be given any attention at all. Just turn and walk away. Ignore it. Most likely, it is normal for the age and goes with the territory. When we jump into every argument, it gives them a great audience and encourages the performance. Ignoring such behaviors puts it on "extinction" and it will soon lessen. Then, when the battle is not raging, continue to teach what the right behavior is and watch for a time when they are doing well and comment on it.
Assignment #2
Walk away from a negative behavior. Temper tantrums, quarrels, etc. qualify as long as life or limb is not threatened! As soon as it has died down, watch for a time to compliment the person on working it out and doing the right thing. Try it. You have nothing to lose but a lot of unpleasant behaviors! Record any interesting findings below, or on the back of this page.
I often wonder, if Jesus were the parent of my children how would He be parenting them? It seems obvious to me that he wouldn't be standing over them waving his pointer finger at them threatening them if they act out again...I only know about this because I've seen other parents do it...I sure don't. :)
The cop thought made me realize how much I, even in my adulthood, would like to be rewarded or noticed for good behavior instead of ONLY being chastised and punished for "bad" behavior. How annoying is it to have someone watching you to see if you do something wrong and yet all the good things about you go unnoticed? I grew up that way and I hate it!
That's why cops are so annoying...they do good things and are a necessary part of our society but isn't it frustrating to have someone looking for your flaws and imperfections instead of focusing on how well you followed the road rule one step behind or in front of your minor slip-up?
I believe in positive parenting. I remember an enrichment activity I went to a few months ago. We had the opportunity to listen to a mother of 11 (all temple married) children speak of how she raised her children. I asked her what she did when her children fought. And she simply replied, "I just ignored it. That kind of behavior didn't deserve my attention."
Otherwise she was constantly there. Giving praises, sharing, giving love, teaching through simple lessons and creating opportunities for her children to win...sorry to keep rambling but this story is cute. One day her and her son were driving somewhere. She said out loud, "Oh no!" And her son curiously asks, "What?" She answered, "We need more gas and I forgot my purse at home. I don't know if we'll make it to the gas station." Her son became concerned and so she asked him to say a prayer that they'll make it to their destination. Low and behold they made it to a gas station and her son found her purse in the car, get this, in a spot close to his seat where she had placed it! She planned the whole thing! She says that to this day he thinks he is SOOO spiritual.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about setting up blatantly fictitious situations like that but it's cute and it gives me other ideas as how to set up situations where the child can "win" and come away from it feeling like a winner.
Those are my thoughts...oh, that and I LOVE www.greensmoothiegirl.com. We've started drinking these green smoothies every morning and are changing our diet all together so that we may be more healthy, energetic, think more clearly and be more alive!
Life is good.
I had a thought the other day as I was driving. I'm pretty sure the spirit led me to its discovery. (It's a simple thought, really, but it was profound to me). I worried for a minute that a cop might have been around because I realized I was driving faster than I should have been. So, I slowed down. Then I thought, what if cops pulled people over because they had been watched or followed and found to be an excellent driver? And instead of handing over a ticket showing some outrageous balance you suddenly owed he handed you a check for $50!
Seriously, let's think about this. People would drive more politely and courteously, obeying the rules because they'd like to be noticed for being a good driver. I'd like to be! I'd try harder, knowing that I may be rewarded for my "good behavior".
This thought led me to something I've been thinking about doing. It stems from a book titled, "Positive Parenting" written by a Dr. Latham. Along with giving great wisdom and advice he also helps us by giving us even further assistance through assignments. (You can view his assignments by going to www.amiutah.org, click on Dr. Latham's lessons and view his lessons from there).
Assignment #1: Give positive attention to your family when they are doing things that are right. A soft pat on the back, a hug, a high five, or a "Way to go!" will nearly always assure the behavior will be repeated. For one hour, when most of your family is home, give yourself a mark for each positive interaction you have. Try to do it for each member of the family, and keep track of the data. Record any interesting experiences you may have.
Here's more: The second part of the assignment is to LEARN TO IGNORE AGE-TYPICAL, "JUNK" BEHAVIORS! Dr. Latham feels that about 95% of the things kids do that drive their parents crazy should not be given any attention at all. Just turn and walk away. Ignore it. Most likely, it is normal for the age and goes with the territory. When we jump into every argument, it gives them a great audience and encourages the performance. Ignoring such behaviors puts it on "extinction" and it will soon lessen. Then, when the battle is not raging, continue to teach what the right behavior is and watch for a time when they are doing well and comment on it.
Assignment #2
Walk away from a negative behavior. Temper tantrums, quarrels, etc. qualify as long as life or limb is not threatened! As soon as it has died down, watch for a time to compliment the person on working it out and doing the right thing. Try it. You have nothing to lose but a lot of unpleasant behaviors! Record any interesting findings below, or on the back of this page.
I often wonder, if Jesus were the parent of my children how would He be parenting them? It seems obvious to me that he wouldn't be standing over them waving his pointer finger at them threatening them if they act out again...I only know about this because I've seen other parents do it...I sure don't. :)
The cop thought made me realize how much I, even in my adulthood, would like to be rewarded or noticed for good behavior instead of ONLY being chastised and punished for "bad" behavior. How annoying is it to have someone watching you to see if you do something wrong and yet all the good things about you go unnoticed? I grew up that way and I hate it!
That's why cops are so annoying...they do good things and are a necessary part of our society but isn't it frustrating to have someone looking for your flaws and imperfections instead of focusing on how well you followed the road rule one step behind or in front of your minor slip-up?
I believe in positive parenting. I remember an enrichment activity I went to a few months ago. We had the opportunity to listen to a mother of 11 (all temple married) children speak of how she raised her children. I asked her what she did when her children fought. And she simply replied, "I just ignored it. That kind of behavior didn't deserve my attention."
Otherwise she was constantly there. Giving praises, sharing, giving love, teaching through simple lessons and creating opportunities for her children to win...sorry to keep rambling but this story is cute. One day her and her son were driving somewhere. She said out loud, "Oh no!" And her son curiously asks, "What?" She answered, "We need more gas and I forgot my purse at home. I don't know if we'll make it to the gas station." Her son became concerned and so she asked him to say a prayer that they'll make it to their destination. Low and behold they made it to a gas station and her son found her purse in the car, get this, in a spot close to his seat where she had placed it! She planned the whole thing! She says that to this day he thinks he is SOOO spiritual.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about setting up blatantly fictitious situations like that but it's cute and it gives me other ideas as how to set up situations where the child can "win" and come away from it feeling like a winner.
Those are my thoughts...oh, that and I LOVE www.greensmoothiegirl.com. We've started drinking these green smoothies every morning and are changing our diet all together so that we may be more healthy, energetic, think more clearly and be more alive!
Life is good.
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