ch-ch-ch-changes....

Oh the never ending changes that are such a big part of living! I often wish things would stay put and be comfortable but improvements always need to be made which require us to take step after step out of our comfort zone. Besides, life is un-stoppable and always changing which requires us to change with it.

For over a year now John has been burnt out doing wedding videos. He is wonderful at putting together wedding videos that are great in quality and emotion. But, sitting in front of a computer and editing for hours and hours every day is NOT John's thing. I've known this for atleast a couple years but it took little longer for John to realize this as well.

The last 8 months have been a huge struggle for us. John and I have been working hard at trying to figure out what John's next step in life should be. Not only did we want something that he'd enjoy but that would provide for this family as well. We considered many things but nothing seemed to settle. It became very frustrating and tested us beyond what we felt we could handle.

Four sundays ago I was having a particularly hard day. I came home from church to look for a binkey (can't survive church without one of those) and knelt down by the couch in my room and prayed and cried to the Lord in a way that I hadn't done for a while. While praying, and after reading John's patriarchal blessing, I felt strongly about some thoughts I had in the past concerning the direction John should take. I felt I should share these thoughts with him.

We found some quiet time later in the day and I told John what I felt...that he was a teacher! Being a seminary teacher was part of his purpose the Lord wants him to fulfill in this life. The spirit confirmed our thoughts and feelings on this matter to be true. And thanks to the spirit we were able to share some tender moments together as tears were shed and truths were revealed.

We have a long road ahead of us now. In order to be a seminary teacher John needs to have his bachelors degree. He'll start going to school in the Spring. We don't feel that these years of self-employment have been a waste. Being self employed will allow him to work around his school schedule and even after he becomes a seminary teacher it will allow him to pull in extra income.

I feel so grateful for the spirit and its promptings. And to the Lord for being patient with us as we took a long road to this discovery.

In a Poppy Field...

Today's Painting...

Fall Trees

Mine and Tyra's most recent paintings...

Sailboat Painting

I need to figure out a place on my blog to post just my paintings (or painting attempts.) But, for now, here's another one. Tyra's is next to mine. :)

Poppy Field

So I went to a poppy field in Italy and decided to paint it. Okay,okay Google images inspired me for this piece. I love to paint! Who knew acrylics and cheap art paper could work just fine...although I am coming to understand why oil paints have huge benefits...same with expensive paint brushes...oooooohhh and I'd love to work on canvas!

Tyra asks me every day if we can paint together! I love it! That is what it's all about.

I'll be posting future art projects as well. For record keeping purposes and to help me be able to see what changes and improvements I need to be making...

Today's Painting

Tyra and I decided to paint the mountains today. So we packed up our painting supplies including a blanket to sit on and sat on the walkway area behind our house in a place that had a good view of the mountains.

It was so fun! Here are my results.

My First Paintings

I become passionate about colors and textures around this time of the year and I want to paint! I've had this passionate desire to paint off and on for many years. But I've always put it off for a better time where we could afford classes and the expensive oil paint supplies.

We have a little book called, What Makes a Monet a Monet? I was looking through it today and was filled with passion as I looked at Monet's visible brush strokes on close-up views of his paintings. This passion I speak of makes me want to place a paint brush in my hand, surround myself with paints of every color, a canvas, an easel, a palette and objects that move me enough to make me want to paint them.

We still aren't able to afford classes or fancy oil paints yet. But, I made it work today anyhow. I grabbed a piece of regular white paper, an object I love, my acrylic paints, and one of Tyra's paint brushes and painted away. It was like scratching an itch. But much much better! The photos show my results. I don't care how much I may lack in painting techniques - I love scratching that itch and I'm never going to stop!

My Dream Home

I'm always looking at houses as we drive around. I search for a house that would give, what I consider to be, a perfect visual description of the word home. I've found many houses that have come close to what I like. But just the other day I found it - the perfect home. The kind of home I dream of having one day. The first time we saw it I was so taken away with it that John drove by a few times so I could look at it again and again. It wasn't until we drove by the third time that I noticed an older man sitting on the porch painting. Which made the home all the more dreamy to me.

We drove by this house again last night and it was simply beautiful. John stopped the car in front of the house so I could take it all in. It was dark outside. The lights on the front of the house gave a dim yellow glow lighting the house perfectly in a gentle way. Smoke floated like a feather from the chimneys mouth accenting the entire view of the home perfectly. I could feel what it would be like inside...cozy and warm. I imagine raising a family in the walls of that home and I'm....in love.

Baby Name

Some of our friends and relatives may be wondering what we named our newest addition. Why would they be wondering such a thing if our baby is already 2 months old? Because we weren't entirely decided on a name for her until 4 days ago. I never thought naming my own child would become such an ordeal. My mind was the consistency of mush during my pregnancy with her. So coming up with a name that I felt fit her perfectly never happened.

We had condensed the names we liked down to around eight names. Two days after she was born we decided on the name Katie. It was sweet and simple. Katie is a name that could fit most cute little girls right? Wrong! Every time I called her Katie it was as if I were lying to myself. It just never worked.

When she was 6 weeks old I finally admitted my feelings to John - he wasn't too thrilled about it but was willing to trust me anyway. I searched through a million names but couldn't find "the one". Finally, one night, John and I were listening to a church talk on his i-pod and the name Camilla came up. Angels sang from heaven and I felt a name finally found its right place. So after a few more struggles with whether we should really change her name or not we officially did so at her baby blessing this last Sunday.

Her photo says it all...Camilla.

My Blog

I decided on "keepin it real" as the title of my very first blog because keepin it real is exactly what I feel I need to work on in my life. It's so easy to get caught up in what society, friends, the average LDS person, or family members expect of me as a mother, as a wife, or as a family member. Homeschooling isn't exactly a socially acceptable thing. Nor is hardly watching any TV or rarely watching movies. I have strong feelings for each of those categories but those will have to be delved upon at a later time.

I've been realizing that one of the most important things we can accomplish during our life on earth is becoming a genuine person. Genuine in who we are, what we want and in our relationships with others. It's easy to have our minds and emotions become muddled up with the voices of others expectations. But, I've been coming to recognize and ignore these "voices" by recognizing and acting upon my own voice instead. By doing so I'm getting to know the real me and am beginning to improve the relationships I have with others.

Anyhow, for now, I am so excited to start my own blog!