The 5 Love Languages!

We had an interesting (but good) lesson in church last Sunday. It was about the 5 love languages. This discovery by Gary Chapman says that we have different love languages. The languages being: Quality Time, Recieving Gifts, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Words of Affirmation. I was a little concerned at first as to whether or not this lesson would include the teachings of Christ in it but, I'll admit, once the teacher wrapped up the lesson it was pretty well balanced and it ended on a strong spiritual note.

Her handouts were 2 tests we can take. One for the husband and one for the wife. John and I took these tests and our guesses as to what the other persons love language is was right. It was a good reminder though.

The eye opener for me was when I asked Tyra and Ethan the questions to this test. (The words obviously had to be changed and simplified). The outcome was a huge eye opener for me in that after I discovered what their love language was so many things clicked in place. (Oh, so that's why you always do this or ask for that?)

And I especially enjoyed when, after discovering the result, I would ask them so you like it when mommy and daddy do this or that don't you? And both Ty and Ethan genuinely and sincerely looked me in the eyes and said, "yes." and then yearned for some of their love language after we had talked about it.

It's made a difference in our home. How so? Because if one of the kids are getting cranky or really acting up I just figure that more than likely they're lacking the kind of love that they can interpret as love. So we clearly and easily know OK this person is needing this type of love. We give it and it works miracles. It's really been a blessing in our lives. And made things even happier and healthier in our home.

It's interesting how we all hunger for love. And interesting also, is that we hunger for it in different ways from others.

Here's a link to one of the quizzes. Like I said, just simplify what it's asking, for the kids. (I always began with - "would you rather...") They'll know which one they like more and the outcome may be surprising!

And see directions as to how to interpret the outcome here.

Hope this helps to bring a little more love into your lives!

Good grief!

A couple weeks ago the kids and I went to a wedding reception. We ran into someone I've known since I was little. She is a kind, hard working, woman. But, I admit, I'm quite frustrated with how she interacted with my kids (Tyra mainly). I'm not only frustrated with her but her kind.

She naturally asked Tyra what grade she's in, which is fine, she was kindly starting up a conversation with Tyra. Once Tyra informed her that she's homeschooled she began to quiz her. Saying things such as, "So are you learning things like 11+21?" and then began to ask her multiple math questions and proceeded to give Tyra a math lesson right then and there in the middle of the reception as her husband stood waiting for her at the door.

Tyra, under pressure, had a hard time even answering the question "What about 4+3?" I know she knew the answer but here she was suddenly undergoing a math test by this woman she doesn't even know-she buckled.

So I'm left feeling frustrated. Why is it that people either A) have to prove to themselves whether homeschooling is a good thing (or not) by testing homeschooled kids? or B) Why does one make an assumption as to whether or not someone is smart (or not) by asking them academical questions?

I'm convinced that if she would have talked to Tyra in a human-like way, asking her what she is interested in or (if the woman's need be) ask her what she has been learning, I'm sure she would have been impressed with this little, yet big, individual.

Does one, when encountering a stranger/possible friend for the first time, ask them questions such as "Can you factor the polynomial x3yz4-x2yz3+2xy2z2?" to determine whether they are an intelligent or capable individual? The answer is obvious.

There's so much more to one's character. Who are they really? How do they feel about life? What drives them? What are they interested in? How do they relate to you? How much do they love to learn? How well are they able to connect with you in a humane manner?

Whether or not one knows a math problem is frivolousness (unless one is asking to learn).

Whether or not one has a good, well-defined, clear thinking, mind and character which thrives with an unclouded awareness as to what his own values are is what is vital.

Good grief, the last thing these kids need is to feel that academical facts are what makes them worth talking to or, of all things, what makes them an intelligent person.

There's so much more to intelligence than math problems or the like!

Great Foods

I've been really happy with some meals we've come across which have become part of our regular diet. Why, yes, I'll share...

First we have tomatoes. Nice and wonderful. Red and round. Not to mention fabulously healthy. What do we do with these luscious "fruits"? We boil them for 30 seconds or so until their skin is peelable. We peel them. Chop them up and freeze them....lots of them. Why, you ask? So we can use them for spaghetti sauce throughout the year.

The spaghetti sauce is quite simple and quite tasty. It's been handed down from John's grandma to his mom to her children. The recipe is as follows:

About 2-3 cups of tomatoes of the frozen tomatoes (let thaw or sit in hot water to defrost), about 6 tbsp of brown sugar, 1-2tsp of oregano, a large sprinkle of salt, let it warm up (don't boil it or it kills the tomatoes healthy enzymes) and Voila you've got spaghetti sauce! Some spaghetti and some cheddar cheese make it a real spaghetti meal and garlic bread is great with it as well.

We love this meal an extra lot because it's quick, easy and its definitely healthier than a box of macaroni and cheese. We've even use it as the sauce we dip our grilled cheese sandwiches in!

BIG P.S. Store bought tomatoes DO NOT work. Only the farm fresh tomatoes (or home grown tomatoes) work. Trust me, I've tried it. I buy my tomatoes from the little farmers market stands along the road for $15-16 a box.

Mmmmmm. My favorite salad.

It consists of this: Spinach, cut up apples, cranberries, sliced almonds and honey mustard salad dressing (all natural). I love it. I could eat it every day. In fact, we pretty much do.

Concord grapes. Pick as many as you want at Thanksgiving Point. What do we do with these? We have made them into juice. How? By picking them (obviously), washing them, chopping them up a little in a blender, simmering them, and straining them with some cheese cloth wrapped over the top of a large bowl or pot, (tightened onto it with a rubber band) and finishing off the straining process by scraping, smashing and adding a little water to the grapes over a seive.

It's messy, it's very purple but it's SOOO yummy. And, I might add, deliciously healthy.

And, last but, of course, not least. Is our Thai dish. Originally it's used with mangoes but we were introduced to this meal using peaches and love it that way.

All it contains is "sticky rice" (called calrose rice - you can buy it most anywhere in the oriental food section of the grocery store...or just use any rice), cut up peaches, and coconut milk (it's canned and is also found in the oriental food section of the store). It's a dish you don't have to feel guilty about eating throughout the day. You can eat this for breakfast, lunch, even dinner if you add something a little more filling like bread to it, and it's good for snacking between meals.

The kids come to me complaining quite often about how hungry they are...so I point them to the sticky rice and they love it!

PS here as well. Store bought peaches are okay but don't even compare to the farmers market peaches. Once again $15 a box which makes about 15 frozen baggies of cut up peaches.

Thanks Rosanne for introducing us to this one as well!

6 Things Which create a Joyful Home

Aside from the uncommonly craziness of a few days before, our home has been filled with peace and joy. This is the most it has ever been filled with such feelings of unity and understanding.

There are 6 things I feel are attributing to this and I felt the need to share:

1) Saying thank you and please to one another

2) Complimenting one another

3) Loving touches, pats, hugs and kisses

4) Listening to one another, acknowledging feelings

5) Laughing with one another, laughing at things which normally annoy

6) Ignoring bad behavior

(unless it is the kind of a behavior which breaks an already solidified rule - which will result in the loss of a privelige)

Are you kidding me?!?!

So, earlier today we, meaning John, myself and the kids, went grocery shopping together. It was a very large shopping trip to say the least and after an hour, when only two items remained to be found and flopped on top of our heap of groceries which spewed out of our cart, I hear a child go bolting across the polished cement floor and suddenly hear a horrible double thud, which could only be made from something such as one's head, accompanied by a terrible vibration through the ground under my feet, followed by a terrible shrieking, which I then knew involved Ethan.

He grasped both sides of his head with both hands and wailed in horror of the pain which came from the terrible bash. His face lacked all normal color. Knowing it would be a while for Ethan to calm down I knelt down letting him wail in my lap, shouting to John what the last two items on our list were. After about 5 or 10 minutes, lots of stares from people and children- but no offer of help, Ethan calmed and we were able to find John.

Due to Ethan's unusually quiet behavior and pale face I feared the worst. After we got home and unloaded our groceries, which then, didn't seem so important anymore. I had him in the car to take him to the ER so we could make sure no internal damage was happening...you never know right? But, after deciding to wait it out, the normal Ethan returned.

SO...he decides to play outside and is pushing Millie on one of those handle bar trikes. Suddenly I hear Ethan calling me so I go to him and am confused by his worried expression on his face. I have a wild imagination and tend to fear the worst so I thought maybe he had lost his vision (from his fall) and was worried. But after hearing Millie screaming I instantly realized Ethan hadn't obeyed me when I told him, "be careful as you push her."

Millie is obviously hurting. I can see black road scuff marks on the sides of her clothing and new she had hit, head first, (on the same side as Ethan's interestingly enough) as well. Her face is pale her wailings would be heart breaking to someone whose heart hadn't gone numb yet...but unfortunately the incident at the store as well as the shopping trip in itself, the much whining and crying and chaos that seemed to follow me everywhere I went ever since I got home, and the stress of wondering if Ethan's skull and brain was damaged left me feeling very little.

I held her until she stopped crying. Fortunately her love for food helped calm her down. And she began to fall asleep in my lap. But, then I worried if she was falling asleep because of brain injuries as well (I know, there I go again) so I kept her awake by giving her a bath. I noticed a big goose egg on her head as I dried her hair. But, she's fine so far. I'm sure that throughout the night I'll be checking her to make sure she responds to my poking her and isn't twitching from having seizures.

SO...Tyra took her first shower today. It felt like she was suddenly all grown up and it's funny how clueless one can be when one has never taken a shower before. Well she was kind of excited and I left her and let her have her privacy (of course!) In the meantime I had Ethan and Cedric take a bath in the other bathroom. After they had gotten settled I went to check on Tyra. Who, when I got to her, had shampoo in her eye, and must of had some sort of wrestling match with the adjustable shower head due to the water sprayed up to the tops of the vaulted ceiling and the puddle of water next to the rug upon the bathroom floor. "What on earth?" Is all I could say. But left it at that.

I return to the boys' bath. For some reason they're both out of the bath tub Cedric is bent over waiting for me to wipe his bum...that's always a wonderful sight isn't it? And Ethan is in the process of finishing up wiping his bum and has succeeded in, once again, using half of the toilet paper roll for one bowel movement. I wipe Cedric's bum..."When did he poop? Did they have a pooping party?" I wonder. Ethan gets back into the tub. I try flushing the toilet. No luck, it's clogged. Ethan Mr. Solver points blatanlty to the plunger....but he forgets that the toilet is filled with poop. I'd rather try my luck with flushing it over and over again.

I suddenly notice little brown peices floating in the tub. Cedric must've squirt some inners from his bowels into the tub which Ethan was now bathing in....

This is where I think, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!"

It's only 8pm and they are going to bed!


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Updates...

So here's a bit of an update from the last blog. . .

No, I haven't submitted my story summary to any publishing agents .... yet. I've spent my extra time writing a couple other stories with 2 more waiting in the back of my mind. I've realized that I love to write. I'm not very good at it but I get what makes a good story. So after working on a simple story long enough it becomes what I want it to be and, I believe, one day, I'll come up with a story that's a hit for everyone....including publishing agents and publishers. So maybe I'll finish a couple more stories then submit them all at the same time.

I have face painted at 5 or 6 fairs (a couple were one day fairs and some were 3 day fairs). But, I'm at a halt with that right now. Our family has learned a lot by me tackling this new adventure. We've definitely come to appreciate one another. But one thing totally killed the momentum in it all for me. ...John and the kids came to one of the fairs to visit me. John was pushing Millie in the stroller. I was excited to see her and as I looked at her and she looked back at me, I'll never forget the look on her face, it was .... I'm not quite sure what it was but here's what it wasn't.

It held no look of attachment or close satisfaction or comfort at seeing me. It missed the connection her and I always had when we saw one another. After that I knew none of the extra income from face painting was worth it. The Lord will provide for us. Not only will we be blessed in listening to the Lord's promptings by having John go back to school but we will be blessed by having me stay at home, keeping order and love in the home, as I'm constantly there.

A mother, it seems, provides anchorage for her children. When she is constant, in presence, emotion, and spirituality, a child is secure and content. But when a mother washes about, rolling and swaying in and out of waves, either in presence, emotion, or spirituality, her children are filled with unsteadiness, unsure of what's to come. Peace is hard to find. Connection is difficult to develop.

I intend to allow my children to feel that peace to the best of my ability. Considering that it involves stability and steadfast efforts in the emotional and spiritual categories - it'll be a lifelong venture for me.

Which reminds me. There's something the spirit has led me to over and over again lately. It's the phrase/scripture, "set your house in order." And I'm trying to figure out exactly what the Lord means by this. Does he mean the things in my home? Our finances? What we are focusing on in our home? What I'm focusing on? Or all of the above? We'll just have to work on all of the above unless I get some specifics (which would be nice...hint, hint) But, we'll do what we need to do. I feel there's a reason for this counsel....I just hope it's nothing too trying. :)

Through this I'll be focusing on one of my favorite scriptures:

"Organize yourselves;
prepare every needful thing;
and establish a house,
even a house of prayer,
a house of fasting,
a house of faith,
a house of learning,
a house of glory,
a house of order,
a house of God."

Great news!!!

There are three great things that have headed my way recently. Well, let's say four...

1. I... get this, finished my children's book today! (applause, applause, applause) I've been feverishly working on it for a couple months now. It's been trying. Deep feelings that are embedded in me came out in this book and I had to clarify what it was I felt, trying to explain it in a clear way with a storyline that was appealing. One you'd like to read over and over again.

After changing a larger detail in the story line yesterday and finishing up the details of it again today, I asked John if I could, yet again, read him my story. I knew it was pretty much complete when, after reading the story, I saw his eyes glisten with tears. I felt like crying too. It was a really neat moment I'll probably never forget. I had felt like I'd never finish it...something was always needing changes.

I also did a test on Tyra by reading it to her...she paid attention the whole time and said, "I loved it!" No, she wasn't trying to humor me...the kids often say, "that was a good one!" after reading them a good book and my own book now falls into that category!

Now I'll take on the challenge of finding a publishing agent and hope a publisher finds my book worth publishing...

2. Those who know me well, know how strongly I feel about pornography and diminishing the seeds that lead to it. I've had an idea about an organization I'd like to get started that will set a standard for participating stores and advertisements, one which, when agreed to, promises they are free of any indecent materials that lie in a persons normal route through their store or such....

Recently I've received two contacts from within two different organizations. One being the Lighted Candle Society and the other being American Mother Inc. A couple mornings ago I finally decided to take the leap and contact these people within these organizations to let them know I had an idea I wanted to share with them.

I was contacted today by a woman who is serving as White Ribbon Chair (anti-pornography/decency) on the Utah state board of AMI and was invited by her to a luncheon that will take place in one week. Those attending this luncheon will be people who are also working against pornography in similar ways as I am, even, a member of the Lighted Candle Society (this is a society filled with doctors, lawyers, and such).

I hesitated contacting these people, I felt worried that I may be getting in over my head but I feel driven to this. I feel passionately about doing something to decrease the amount of people who become addicted to pornography. And I know the Lord is leading me. It was Gordon B. Hinckley's quote that pushed me to make the leap and send my e-mail(s). "The time has come for us to stand a little taller, to lift our eyes and stretch our minds to a greater comprehension and understanding of the grand millennial mission of this The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is the season to be strong. It is time to move forward without hesitation."

3. To help John get through school and to help us through the hard winter months I have decided to face paint at fairs and festivals. I have a fair I'm going to 4 out of the 5 weekends in August. I'm excited to do it. It'll be fun painting many designs on all sorts of faces. It'll only be a handful of weekends during the whole year and it will benefit us in great ways. I'm glad this opportunity came along...;)

4. The Homeschooling Book Group I started about 6 months ago is so wonderful. I love having strong, spiritual, mission-driven, thoughtful, women in my life who motivate me, enrich my mind, and are such good examples to me. I feel so blessed to have this be a part of my life.

I'm feeling excited and nervous about some of these things but they are all good things. I'm so grateful to the Lord for placing them in my path. This IS "the season to be strong and the time to move forward without hesitation."

The Lord uses ordinary people to do great things...I hope to be one of those ordinary people. I hope to be an ordinary person, who, after having passed from this earthly life, will stand in front of Heavenly Father, looking confidently into His eyes as I respond to His questions, "How have you loved? and How have you served?"